My Big Gay Podcast
My Big Gay Podcast is the ultimate LGBTQ+ comedy show, diving headfirst into the highs, lows, and LOLs of gay life in London and beyond... (wait, did somebody just say head?!).
Hosted by your new gay BFFs, Benji and Brad, this podcast spills all the tea on their adventures as two gay guys in their 30s, juggling careers, chasing love, and living their best big gay lives in the greatest city in the world.
Now in its sixth fabulous season and recently crowned the TOP 3 LGBTQ+ podcast in the UK and a TOP 20 Comedy Podcast worldwide, My Big Gay Podcast is your backstage pass to hilarious celebrity interviews, outrageous games, epic competitions and heartwarming listener stories. It's been called “Bridget Jones’s Diary meets Sex and the City—but way gayer!”
So, if you’re up for a good time (and maybe some mischief), join Benji and Brad as they navigate the wild world of love, laughter, and life. Want to play along or get in touch? Slide into their DMs on Instagram: @BigGayPodcast, or hit up their website at www.MyBigGayPodcast.com.
My Big Gay Podcast
S6. Ep 3. Two Gays and the Social Handbook
Get in touch! Drop Benji and Brad a text message by clicking on this link.
Ever wondered how to effortlessly make queer friends in a bustling metropolis like London? Tune in to our latest episode where we unlock the secrets to forging meaningful connections within the vibrant LGBTQ+ community. From the thrill of joining a gay rugby team to the intellectual haven of Gaze the Word bookshop, we've got tips that cater to every interest. Picture yourself part of impromptu sports games at Clapham Common or enjoying a drag show featuring the fabulous Chanel Number 5. Whether you're a sports enthusiast or a literary buff, we share personal anecdotes that will inspire you to step out and make new friends.
Navigating friendships isn't always smooth sailing, and sometimes, saying goodbye is necessary for your well-being. In this episode, we also tackle the often-overlooked subject of friend breakups—how to handle them gracefully and maintain a positive outlook. Our candid discussions about the emotional complexities involved offer practical advice and a dash of humor, especially when considering the unique dynamics of maintaining professional relationships in podcasting. Whether you're new to the city or looking to expand your social circle, this episode offers an invaluable guide to forming lasting connections within London’s LGBTQ+ scene.
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Speaker 2:Hello and welcome to my big gay podcast with me, Benji.
Speaker 1:And me, Brad, giving you the life, the loves and lols of living in London Two gays, one city.
Speaker 2:What could possibly go wrong? Sorry, I was trying to beat you on that one. Yes, podcasters, today we are tackling the most popular question that we get into our DMs and our emails, which is how do you make friends in London?
Speaker 1:We had this question come up all the time and of course we try and message back and we give bits of advice. But we thought why don't we do like an episode about it and then we can direct people to that episode all the facts and the figures information one place facts, figures, receipts, screenshots, timeline, the lot it's all there.
Speaker 1:so the question is how do you make queer friends in london? Now, of course, I feel like this question could be applied to any city, possibly in the world, or you know most of the world, and obviously we'll stalk specifically about London. That's our experience.
Speaker 2:We're going to stalk about London. We're going to stalk. You need to stop drinking, hon.
Speaker 1:We had a cocktail before this episode and, yeah, I feel a bit giddy.
Speaker 2:But yeah, so we're going to try and answer your questions as much as we can. Now, the main reason we're doing this is one whole episode all in itself is so we can give us a bit more airtime to really sort of give ideas for everybody. But also, if you are listening to this and maybe you have some single friends and people have just gone through breakups or have just moved to a city or moved away from you, you can send them this episode, let them have a listen and maybe they'll be able to find some queer friends in whatever location they're in.
Speaker 1:And I think we're quite lucky being in London. I not being biased, I do think it's one of the best cities in the whole world. Greatest city in the world, absolutely. It is In the greatest city in the world, in the greatest city in the world and, of course, there's loads of queer things to do everywhere in London, right, so we do have it at our fingertips, so to speak, and there's lots going on. Now, of course, if you're in a slightly smaller city or a town might not have as much, but obviously we're going to talk about London and what you can do here to make new friends.
Speaker 2:Absolutely so. What is the first on our list for today, Brad?
Speaker 1:Well, the first one I can't believe we're going to go straight in with this is sports.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:Now I know that's not for you or necessarily for me, but there are loads of queer sports groups in London. I can't believe it.
Speaker 2:Now you say it's not for me, but a little fact that you may find a little bit hard to believe or difficult to swallow. Not that you normally find it difficult to swallow is. I actually am quite sporty.
Speaker 1:In what field?
Speaker 2:When I lived out of London shooting clay pigeon, shooting Right Archery.
Speaker 1:I can't see you as an archer.
Speaker 2:Badminton.
Speaker 1:I can see you as a badminton player.
Speaker 2:Tennis.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can see that.
Speaker 2:Those four I was really good at.
Speaker 1:Oh squash.
Speaker 2:I did squash, I dabbled in squash, but actually it scared me quite a lot.
Speaker 1:I think that's when.
Speaker 2:I love.
Speaker 1:But not with squash.
Speaker 2:Not just that singular ball being whipped at my face back and forth. No, thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I'm actually okay with sports and I should really join more. I have looked at a few, so something that we're going to sort of talk about today is when we worked with Pride in London, we saw so many different sports teams marching to sort of promote themselves From the swimming team, which were very cleverly blanded, so they definitely were not bland.
Speaker 1:She's had a cocktail as well.
Speaker 2:Very cleverly branded, as they marched the entire thing in their speedos.
Speaker 1:I know I mean caught our eyes, didn't it had my attention? I was straight off that podium, walking over jaw on the floor. What kind is?
Speaker 2:this, Sorry. Where do I sign up? I?
Speaker 1:love the outfit, but I mean they literally have every sport you can think of Gay rugby. I actually went on a few dates with one of the gay rugby players before.
Speaker 2:Gay football team, which actually a good friend of ours, the drag gardener plays with yes.
Speaker 1:There's loads of them, so if you are massively into sports, you'll be able to find a sports club that has a gay-friendly or queer-friendly version of that sport.
Speaker 2:For sure. Friendly version of that sport, for sure, and listen. In a world where we have social media at our fingertips, it's very easy just to open your browser and search for any sort of sport team near you.
Speaker 1:Put the word gay in there, queer, lgbt, whatever you like, and I'm sure you'll find somewhere near you yeah, well, I actually went on a few dates with someone who plays for one of the gay football teams and they all play each other in tournaments, so obviously they're all making friends with the other teams all around London. But the one thing I would say about the you know the sport, specifically the football, is they have specific training sessions.
Speaker 2:So when I went on this, date with this guy. He was like can't have late ones on a Saturday because I have training every Sunday and you're like well, sorry, 3 am on a. Saturday.
Speaker 1:I do the Megamix in Brewers to High School Musical and are you going to be watching? No, because you're going to be in bed ready for training. Watching going, I tap that. No, you're not.
Speaker 2:No, you're not because you're going to be in bed and ready for football training, having just sliced your orange slices, ready for interval interval. Is it an interval?
Speaker 1:no, half time, half time, half time, there we go yeah, so that comes with this whole like schedule calendar world as well.
Speaker 2:It's a commitment. It it's a commitment and, as we've established, I'm not good with those. But listen, if sport is not for you, there are other clubs that you can join If you like gaming. There actually is a group in London called Gamers. Now they specialise in you guessed it gaming. This can be anything from board games to Mario Kart, nintendo Classics, so computer games to board games, to mario kart, nintendo classics, um, so like computer games, to board games, to card games. They meet, I think it's every other week, uh, in london. You have to research them for yourself and it's just a really fun, sociable event. Now I've not been yet, I do plan to go.
Speaker 2:I've got some friends that go and they said loads of people go by themselves yeah um, so when you go, if you go by yourself, just remember a lot of other people have gone by themselves as well and they've just sat down and they've joined in a game and that's such a good icebreaker because you're like, oh, fancy a game of Mario Kart.
Speaker 1:Cool, let's do it a game of what Mario Kart? Yeah, mario Kart, it's that cocktail. What was in that cocktail?
Speaker 2:you made it, honey you made it, but yeah.
Speaker 1:Mario Kart love Mario Kart. I someone that played that quite a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do you remember? We went to that pool party last year? Yes, and they had Mario Kart. Yes, they were like winner stays on. I was like, well, get me comfy, I'm here for the long run, I'm here for the long run.
Speaker 1:Another thing that you might be into is anything like performance related. Now, obviously, benji and I come from a bit of that world events entertainment.
Speaker 1:The theatre, the theatre, darling, uh. But you know there's lots of amdram groups in, well I guess everywhere, right, I remember doing amdram in my little small town where I grew up. Yeah, so I feel like every town and of course london has loads will have an amdram group. If you're into a little bit of performance, whether that's on stage or backstage, you know everyone is part of that big community, and not only that, there's all the different dance groups and things as well. We had david alwood come on here before who runs Homo Parody. They're a dance group from sort of beginner to advanced and they do shows kind of all across London and prides and things you know. So if that is your thing, great opportunity to make friends and perform and do what you love doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like where you live, like I'm sure there is like a community centre or even like a church hall and and they'll have so many posters up Like just wander past, have a look, I'm sure you'll find something that you know wets your whistle. I don't know where that came from. Wet your whistle. You get that whistle wet honey.
Speaker 1:Now, another thing that you might be into is books. Right, who loves a good story? I love a good story. Do you love a good story? Little town, it's a quiet village.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do, but I'm more of an audiobook kind of gal.
Speaker 1:Right, fine. But if you're more into like the hardcover stuff, if you like it hard you can go to book clubs. In London Now there is a really famous bookshop called Gaze the Word. It's been around for years and I actually had a little look on their website prior to this episode just to see what, if they do like community groups, they've got a whole page of community things that they do for people that love reading books. Lovely, lovely.
Speaker 2:I just I can't concentrate, I can't read books, I really can't. I have tried so many times but it's just not for me, but hopefully it is for you. Something else that I think could be sort of relaxing if maybe you're more nervous to make friends is wherever you live. I'm sure nearby there is like parks or recreational grounds, let's say Now near us, us, we're very lucky, we've got Clapham Common. But if you live more north you've got like Hampstead Heath. Now I'm not just naming cruising grounds, but these are places where a lot of sort of gay cultured crowds hang out. And I've been to Clapham Common and I've seen like somebody will bring a ball and they'll stand up, they'll put some bags, make some random goals and they'll just have a kick about and random people will just come join. Yeah, that is a great way just to make friends, sure, even if you've got skills, just be the ref, be the goal post or the score person sure the ball washer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fun story. Meet them in the showers, it doesn't matter when I was at school, I hated sports so much, right, and we had to play cricket as a as a sport and I just was so against it and I was the position.
Speaker 2:Against it, against it. I just didn't want to do it.
Speaker 1:So when it was cricket season, it was like, oh God, we don't play. So I volunteered myself to be 12th man. Now, if you know cricket, you know what I'm on about, but if you don't know cricket, 12th man is you, are the reserve, you're. So I learned how to play cricket in terms of keeping the score, so that I could do all the scores on the board, apart from one time when part of the team yeah, they were like, oh, someone's injured. The 12th man's got to come on. Fuck my fucking life, did you do it? I think I got out straight away. You know, like when it hits the wicket, it didn't even hit the ball. Ah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, screamed. A, b, a, B. Oh, my goodness, I cannot imagine you playing a script. Yeah, anyway, the last one from me would be drag events.
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, so if you're out and about, if you see a drag queen appearing at any pub, bar club, outdoor brunch, whatever it might be, go along to it. You're definitely going to bump into other like-minded people like yourself and they will definitely be the sort of crowd that can, uh, sort of help you feel at home. Recently we posted on instagram about going to chanel number five's bingo in clapham. Now I've seen before people go by themselves and she's actually go. She'll go up and talk to them, not on the microphone, and just sort of say are you playing like who you're here with? And if they'll by yourself, she'll make you feel so at home and comfortable. And if she knows other people in the room that won't mind having an extra person join and you feel comfortable, she'll pair you up with other friends as well.
Speaker 2:So that's a really, really good shout. Drag queens are sort of the beacon of gays. If you see them performing, go watch.
Speaker 1:And not only that. For me personally I've actually made friends dating, so on the apps met someone got on really well. Hasn't gone romantically in that direction. Did they ghost you? One or two might have ghosted me in the past and obviously that is how Benji and I became friends was we went on a date originally years ago. Didn't work out that way. You know he's still upset about it even till today, bless him.
Speaker 2:Tell the truth. Tell the truth about to drag you by what's left of your hair across this floor. Tell the truth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you ghosted me Rude hair across this floor. Tell the truth. Yeah, you ghosted me rude and I called you out about it and you apologized and now we're friends.
Speaker 2:I don't remember being fully that way, but I'll allow that to happen. Yeah, but dating is a really good way. I mean, personally, I don't. You were the only person I've ever dated that I've remained friends with, but that's. That's so fine.
Speaker 2:It didn't work for me, but it did work for you and well it has worked for us. Um, but yeah, these are sort of like our top tips for making friends in london. Now, I know that we've mentioned some london places, but any sort of these categories will be transferable to places that you're in, I'm sure. Even if it's a slight drive away it's like train away, right. Have a look and if you are in any locations and you need help finding places to go, etc. Get in touch. Give us an email, write to our dms. We will do all we can to try and do a shout out on the Instagram and see if anyone else is in your area that is looking to make friends and not only that.
Speaker 1:There are groups specifically for gay community gay social groups I'm part of a couple that are obviously London based. Someone runs them and they do like group events to the theatre or museums, etc, etc. And that is where you just sign up, you go and you get to meet loads of people Amazing. So check out some of those in your area as well. And we've started to go to places, to make little reels of places that we go to so that if you're looking for somewhere to go, either on a date or to go meet friends, we are there for you. We're making it happen.
Speaker 2:That's right. We've mentioned it before in an episode. It's called Out in London, like you know, being out and gay but being out and about in London. So if you've been anywhere that you've made friends and you want to share it sort of with the world, get in touch with us, let us know and we will try and visit there and make a little reel to sort of show people what it's like before they get there. Because I understand that Instagram sometimes the website doesn't really show you what the venue is or what the vibe is or what sort of like gays etc might be there. I know I've been put off by certain uh nights such as like Feel it and Roast, because I just feel like I might not fit in. But I don't know, I'm just going by social media. So we're going to try and break that a little bit for you. So, yeah, if you've been anywhere fun that you think we should go, please write in and let us know.
Speaker 1:Well, I feel like we've covered loads of ground there and so hopefully that's been informative for you. To kind of go out there Now, the one thing that you have to do is put yourself out there, which is really hard. I totally get that, especially if you're not quite as confident as being able to sign up to these groups or put yourself in those positions yeah, and just remember, keep yourself in a really comfortable zone for yourself.
Speaker 2:You can leave at any point. If you go to any of these you're like this is just not for me, I feel too nervous, just leave and tell them the next day and if you feel like you could give it another go, I'm sure the organiser will be very familiar with people coming along and not necessarily feeling comfortable for them and helping them sort of ease their way into it or suggest other things. So just be honest just be open.
Speaker 1:What do you like to do, what are your hobbies, what are your interests?
Speaker 2:And I bet you there is a queer group of people that have the same interests as you For sure, but podcasters, that is all we have time for on this very special little episode about going out in London. If you have anything else to say, if you have any questions, locations you want us to visit or our TikTok which is at Big Gay Podcast.
Speaker 1:And, of course, we love hearing from you we say this every week, but we actually generally do so. If you've got anything that you want us to talk about on the podcast, or if you've got your own queer diary, like this question that we had come in, we will answer that for you on the podcast and make it happen.
Speaker 2:And if you have any success stories about going out and making friends, let us know as well. We love a good happy ending. Sorry, but podcasters, like I said, that's all we have time for in this week's episode of my Big Gay Podcast. Until next time, see you next.
Speaker 2:Wednesday. So, brad, you know we've discussed about, like, how to make friends. Uh-huh. I wonder if there's like any advice that we could try and get for ourselves of how to like get rid of friends. Why are you looking at me when you say that, like, how do you tell someone that you're sick to death of being contractually obliged to make podcast episodes? This feels like a very loaded question I have no idea what you're talking about why are you double blinking at me, miss? Benji, thank you.
